Last week, I talked about how change can be scary in some cases and depending on how the need for change arose - from feedback or from inside? In this article we will demystify change by looking at the process, at a high level!
Let’s assume that the need for a change came from you. You noticed something you felt could be better and are looking to pinpoint exactly what it is because at the moment it’s only a feeling.
Trying to dig and excavate around that feeling alone is a tough and time consuming way to figure out what needs to change. So, to make your thinking more concrete and expansive here is my process:
We work to paint a very clear picture of the “you” you see, as the best version of yourself. This step is uncomfortable because you have to break through the constraints you’ve put on who you could be! Ever hear yourself saying, “That’s not me”, or “I could never do / be that”, and other similar statements? This requires that you ditch those limiting beliefs!
Now honestly, and this is where the coach helps a lot, paint a picture of you now including strengths, weaknesses, habits, beliefs and values. The thing is, you can skate through this without challenging what you “know” to be true. So, work with someone who will hold you accountable to this process! Also in this step, see where aspects of you, now, already line up with the best version of you and acknowledge them!
Now identify what brought you to this change process and clarify what you were feeling!
Next, figure out what are the things that you want to prioritize for change and identify what learning could benefit you!
Then you go out and try these things from the step above:
If they work, you and your coach figure out how to practice and make progress on the change. You develop new habits. You leave old beliefs behind. And you stay true to your values - your coach helps with that too!
If they don’t work, ditch the thing you tried and try something else!
If it works, practice it more and more and see the change happen. Continually make progress until you are satisfied.
Although this is 6th in this list it is actually one of the earliest things you do - purposefully enlist people you trust to help hold you accountable to yourself and support you long after your efforts have been successful!
That’s it.
Now sometimes you come to “change” already clear on where change needs to happen. So, with coaching, we use the same process but, maybe go light on the “ideal” you since there are specifically one or two things that have to change!
That’s not scary is it?