Even though I have put this as step 6 in the process, it really could be step one, the first thing you do. However, I really thought, when I started this series, that you had to appreciate all the work it would take to change before taking it outside of yourself.
Taking this outside of yourself introduces person risk which can lead to self-censorship and a shut-down of the whole process! So, I left it to the end.
Remember, this stuff is simple, yet hard to do.
So, the idea here is to enlist other human beings to support you on this journey to come closer to you being your ideal or better self.
The immediate hard part of this is allowing yourself to be vulnerable enough to ask someone to enlist and support you. So, you have to be a little hard nosed and true to yourself about who would actually want to ask and who would do a good job supporting you.
When you do talk to the first person, you have to be really clear about how you want them to support you, what will work and what won’t and get their commitment to work in a way that will work for you - super important and more of you putting yourself out there - keep going!
You also have to tell them how you will ask for this support. This will ensure that they know you are asking them as a member of your advisory board.
You could set up a specific meeting date and time every week? Or every month?
Let them know if you will you use a specific phrase if asking in the moment for a sidebar conversation and feedback? This might take some refining so, be O.K. with that as you feel your way through it.
Now you have to listen. There is no point building an advisory board and then not listening to your advisors!
To get the input (feedback) when talking to a member of your advisory board, ask questions without a yes or no response like:
How did you see… ?
What did I miss when… ?
When I did [this thing] what responses stood out for you?
How did [specific event] come across to you?
And then ask, “And what else did you see, feel, think, notice etc. Be courageous and dig a little deeper.
If your advisor was not with you during an event with others and you want feedback, do this:
Summarize the event in your head and then make it shorter
Explain the event, interaction, decision to your advisor, making it shorter than your shortened summary
Ask them if the situation is clear and be ready for questions
Ask them the feedback question and ask them “and what else?”
Then thank that person, leave (hang-up the phone, close the Zoom etc.) and reflect on what they said. Give yourself time to understand everything you heard. If you have questions to clarify, send them to that person in your agreed upon way - email, phone, in person etc.
The final piece of this process is to feed what you learn from your Advisory Board, back into the process at step one. Share with them any outcomes from incorporating their feedback. Have the conversation about what else you could have done and loop back into the process.
The last thing I will leave you with is that it is far better to have an adaptive learning process that works for you than having to rely on current knowledge to get you thought which is bound to have a ”best by date”.
Good luck! And reach out if I can support you!